


Sunny Blue

by Dexilt



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, mcyt
Genre: AU, Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Not Video Bloggers, Alternate Universe - Real World, Angst, Bee - Freeform, DadSchlatt, DadSchlatt AU, Daddy Issues, Dadza, Dream Smp, FUCKING SHIT, Gamers, Jschlatt - Freeform, Minecraft, Not Beta Read, Real Life, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Streamers - Freeform, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, Tubbo - Freeform, Tubbo in a box, Tubbox, Twitch - Freeform, YouTube, child tubbo, game, he is baby at first lmao, he loves bees, i guess, i hate tagging its the worst, i never learned how to tag, lmao see what i did there, mcyt - Freeform, mentions of real name, minecraft youtubers - Freeform, my editor never edited this, video bloggers rpf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28986963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dexilt/pseuds/Dexilt
Summary: He never loved someone like he loved his son, he never cared or thought of himself as a kind person until he had the little boy in his arms. But no matter how much he prayed and hoped his money was not enough for both of them and he is forced to give up his son so that he could have a good childhood. Phil accepts the small child into his home, and Schlatt was never seen again.That is, until the election starts and Schlatt becomes the new president of the country, and Tubbo starts to notice that they share one too many similarities with each other.
Comments: 22
Kudos: 211





	1. Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I really can't stop writing new fics can I?
> 
> Dadschlatt au! God i cried watching the animatics and looking at art, I just had to do it. I hope this will be a good fanfic and that people find it enjoyable! Also sorry for writing new fics all the time, i just have so many ideas I cant help but to spill them all. 
> 
> Enjoy this fic!

As a teenager he had promised his friends and even joked about not ever going to get a kid. They would sit on railings and watched the smaller kids play their stupid games and laugh at them for being so bad and for being themselves. They hated kids, they were annoying and they were loud. Nothing good ever came out of them- Schlatt was an only child and the stories from his friends with younger siblings made him thank the gods for not having another sibling running around and trying to steal the little attention he got from his parents. 

They would laugh, point their fingers and mimic the kids as they played football over on the field, pretend that they got mad at each other for silly things as to make fun and bully the kids from far away. The kids themselves never knew unless they looked up towards the railings where the boys say and maybe that is for the best- to help them escape the cruel ways of the world. The cruel world which hits in ways you would never have expected. 

He did no longer know his friends from his teenage years, those years which seemed like they were so far away even if he knew that was not the way. He knew that they were just around the corner but even so it felt like a whole other life he had lived. He would never have expected to end up where he was right now, he had never expected to be in this kind of situation or have his heart ripped in two but also ache for someone he though would never exist. 

He never thought he would feel this way for someone, he never knew this kind of love existed. That year he had spent living with her had felt like the best in his life, waking up in soft sheets with rosy cheeks and soft eyes next to him. She had been beautiful and they thought it would all be okay- that the hook up they had done at a party would work out and that they could start a life together. They could be strong and they could work against the world telling them no. They were so much more than what everyone else saw them as and he felt determined to try even if he was scared out of his mind. 

Everyday had been like a Sunday, the soft whispers of ‘good morning’ filling their bedroom whenever their eyes opened, the scent of newly baked bread spreading itself through the incredibly cheap apartment which they owned. It had felt like heaven to finally be with someone who loved him and someone who cared- finally having someone to hold him and to kiss him gently as a sign of the pure love which truly did exist outside of movies. His parents were long gone- she was the only one to hold him. 

The mornings passed one by one, and the fear grew more and more. He trusted her, but to trust himself with a child? It was more than he could handle. His teenage self did not want this and his teenage self would have laughed and bullied the poor woman for this. But he had found something else in this life- it was no longer just him. It was now he and her, a woman with golden locks and piercing brown eyes which felt like they cut into his soul and made his knees go weak whenever they looked at him. He had never felt like this- never. His friends were barely even his friends anymore. He had not heard from them in years. 

For every day that passed, the more frightening it got. 

He would pace around the house and wonder if it was too late to run away, to leave everything behind and start over in a new town and try to forget what was going on. But it would not be fair to her, and he really wanted this in a way. Something inside of him begged him to stay. Maybe it was the hormones of knowing you were going to become a dad- or maybe it was something else. He had no idea but his pacing was starting to frighten her as well, the woman looking at him with sad eyes as they waited for the last days to pass them by. 

He was born a week early, nothing bad but still scary in its whole. He was not ready and if the police had seen him speeding them to the hospital he would have gotten into some mad trouble. Luckily he managed to escape with only angry drivers honking at him as to tell him that he was an idiot. They did not know what was happening, though. Any day he would have honked as well. 

He never knew the scene would be so grotesque, he had always thought it would be somewhat clean and beautiful. It was the way of nature after all, but in all honesty it was one of the most scariest things he had ever witnessed. She was screaming, the doctors were telling her things he could not hear as sweat ran down her. He felt lost and out of place as he sat by her side, fear inside of him. 

Then suddenly there was more screaming, a new voice joining into the party. It was lighter and more high pitched than the other voices inside of the room and everyone seemed to go quiet once it joined them. His lover went limp in the bed and leaned her head back as she tried to catch her breath and the doctors inside the room smiled as they lifted up the little bundle and quickly wiped it off, putting it in cloth and soft blankets. 

He could only stare, trying to hold back tears which were threatening to spill any moment now. He had never imagined to feel like this for anyone else, he had never imagined that a person could turn his life upside down and make the gold grey winter outside turn into a blooming spring. He never knew that someone could light his world up like this by just existing, but here he was. 

He never stopped being afraid, he never stopped fearing but for now it was for another reason. He was no longer thinking about running away or that his life would turn into hell by this kid, instead he got scared that he would not be good enough for the kid which was his. He had never wanted a kid, he hated them and they were nothing but annoying. But this one… it made him go weak and it made him want to hold him and promise that nothing bad would ever happen to him. 

He had always been such a selfish person, rude and mean towards anyone he came across. Until now he thought that she was the only person in the whole world who would be able to bring another side out of him, but he seemed to have been wrong. He barely even knew that this side of himself existed, he barely even knew that there was something good in him. Maybe there wasn’t, but this kid made him want to change. It made him want to turn into one of those good people on the street and those sickenly sweet people who planted flowers all day. 

Something inside of him changed when he saw him, when the bundle got planted in his arms and he looked down on the beauty who rested there. His hair was dark and he had a lot of it which rested on top of his tiny little head, his eyes seemed to be very large even though he had yet to open it. The doctors said he would look around any second and he wanted to be there when it happened, he wanted to see it happen. 

He sat down next to her, her gaze far gone and only staring down at the child with seemingly no interest. He had not even noticed the way she seemed to be in another place as he held the child and watched his son open his eyes, looking around and having a somewhat distant look. He did not cry anymore, he did not smile and he did not move his muscles too much. The small boy did however let his eyes run over his dad's features, and that is when the first tear fell. 

He wanted to hold him forever and never let go, but he had to also let the mother hold her own child. She did not smile and the child started to whine, almost breaking out into a cry as it looked towards his mother. His mother who only gave him a cold and gone look. Schlatt was not sure what was going on or why she was acting like this, maybe it was the hormones, but either way he took the child into his arms who immediately stilled. 

He did not cry anymore. 

The bundle had small hands, he noted. Very small but strong hands which wrapped themselves around his pointer finger and made his father chuckle at it. He knew he was going to be a strong boy and that he was perfect in every way, never before had he felt such love and never before had he been so happy to have someone in his life. The loneliness of the past years were far behind him and they did not matter anymore, nothing else mattered beside those light eyes which resembled his mothers. He had never been so happy, he silently thanked whatever god there was who had given him this child.

He never expected to wake up alone. 

Once they had gotten a clearing to go home they had let him sleep in between them, the kid obviously wanting to snuggle closer to his father. Schlatt had welcomed the bundle with open arms, gently letting his finger run over the cheek which felt soft as a feather underneath his skin. She had been there when they had gone to bed, even if she had not said a word and even if she had only looked quickly down on their son. She had been there, but in the morning she was gone. 

There had been nothing else but a couple of dollars resting on the kitchen table. Not even a note had she left and just like that, he had been left alone together with a child. She had been the first person to teach him what being love and what giving love felt like. She had taught him what it meant to care for someone else than yourself and what it meant to be kind and loving. Now she was gone, to where he had no idea. 

He had been holding him so tightly, the baby trying to reach over and play with his hair which was overgrown and falling thickly down his neck. Sometimes he got a tight grip and pulled which hurt like a bitch and he had to try and detangle himself from those very tiny fingers. (How were they even that tiny?)

The man had not cried, instead he had looked out the window while sitting down on the couch. His son had been sleeping on his chest as peacefully as one could be meanwhile he had a war going on inside of his head. He did not know how to take care of a child, he did not know what to do or what they needed. He did not have enough money, he was in such debt and his job only gave him enough to pay for the rent of the small apartment which he had. There was nothing to his name and now when she was gone, he felt so lost and confused and scared as he held him close to his chest and sang whatever lullabies he knew. He made some of them up as well, pretending they were real. 

The only thing his son had to play with was a little bee plushie which Schlatt had had when he was a child. It was a miracle he had not thrown it away over the years and he had been sure to give it a good wash after laying in a box for so many years. His son had not seemed to care as he threw himself over the bee which was almost as big as himself, hugging it to himself and crying whenever he could not find it. He did not ask for much, at least. 

Schlatt was not proud of some things. He was not proud of leaving his son alone while he was sleeping to run out of the house and try and get some baby food or extra toilet paper to use for diapers. Once or twice, he had stolen it. He hated himself for it, he did not want to do such things and he knew what could happen if he ever got caught doing it. But then the bundle at home reminded him of why, and so he ran as fast as he could back home to find his son still sleeping while holding his bee. 

He was so innocent, lying there in the bed he and his lover had once shared. Now it was just him and the small boy resting in there whenever the baby decided that it was time for sleep. It was almost scary how much babies slept, were they supposed to do that? Maybe they were. He had no idea. 

He had crawled underneath the covers and pulled the little one close to his chest, rubbing him gently on the back and listening to him breathing. He would do anything for him, he would give up everything he owned and he would turn himself inside out for the little child which slept so soundly. He loved him more than he loved himself and the world itself, he would do anything for him. 

He never knew that this would be anything. 

The bundle had been crying, crying out for food which Schlatt had failed to give him for a whole day now. He had not slept during the night and he had gotten caught last night trying to sneak some baby food out which meant that he had not gotten his hands on any. The store owner was now on high alert for him and the closest store would take him at least an hour to get to. His money had long ran out and his next paycheck was not until next friday- a week and three days away. He was not sure what to do. 

He too cried as he tried to get him to sleep, singing to him with a broken voice as he let his son have his bee and holding him close to himself. After an hour or so, he was finally asleep and that is when he knew this would not work, that he was not a good enough father and that he was never going to be able to raise his son well. He was already starving and he did not even have a bed of his own. 

It had been raining and so he wrapped his son in blanket after blanket together with the bee, holding him tightly to his chest as only a leather jacket rested over his shoulders to keep himself warm enough from the rain. His son was still asleep and he glanced down at him once more before running to the only person he knew could help him. 

It was late, so he was surprised when the blond man opened up the door to reveal a warm and loving (although messy) home. He looked shocked to see Schlatt standing there with tears streaming down his face, broken and hurt. Never before had Phil seen the man like this, he had not even been sure that the man had feelings like the rest of them anyways judging by how he had been growing up. They had never been good friends. 

“Schlatt?”   
  
He held his son tighter to his chest, feeling the warmth against him as he silently begged the other man, crying and holding on to the baby as if it was the only thing keeping him alive. Everything inside of him was hurting and he felt like he was giving up himself as he looked at the man.

“You have to take him,” He whispered quietly. He was not ready to let go. “Please.”

Phil glanced down to the bundle which rested in Schlatt’s arms, his eyes widening before turning to look back at the man’s face. He had so many questions about how and why he had a child, how he had even gotten it or what had happened. Schlatt was crying on his doorstep, holding a baby. If he had told anyone about this they would never have believed him in a million years. 

“Is that your child?” Schlatt nodded, leaning his cheek down to the boy's head which was covered in a cloth he had made from an old blanket. It was soft but also old, smelling slightly strange even though he had spent days trying to wash it out. He must have woken up, because Schlatt could feel him stir in his arms and trying to escape his prison of blanket. 

  
“You have to take him.”

“What? No!”   
  


Schlatt shook his head, biting down on his lip as his son’s eyes managed to find their way up to his father. He did not cry, he must still be a bit confused after his nap. He usually did not cry after waking up if Schlatt was there, it was almost scary how much his son seemed to be attached to him and how nice of a baby he was.

“I can’t take care of him, Phil I know how shitty of a person I am but please. He is still innocent, he is still good.” He begged and Phil stepped outside into the rain and looked into the blankets, lifting them gently to look at the big eyes which looked back at him. Phil was beyond words as the boy drooled and chewed on a bee which was wrapped in together with him. The wing of it was drenched. 

“Are you… sure about this?”   
  
“Please. Please for him.” 

He did not want to let go, and to feel his son leave his arms was worse than to be stabbed in the chest. He wanted to scream at Phil to hand him back, to give him his sunshine back and to never touch him again. But he knew there was no way he could do that, his son would not be safe with him. But with Phil, he could get a proper home and he could have siblings- have a real family. Something which Schlatt could never be able to give him. 

“What’s his name?” The boy teared up and whined the moment he was taken out of his fathers arms, but he did however not cry. He did not let out a single scream as Phil cradled him in his arms and gently ran his finger over his cheek the same way Schlatt had done that night. He dried off his tears. 

“His name is Toby.” With that, he was gone. 


	2. You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What counts as family secrets and what counts as personal secrets?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to a new chapter!
> 
> I am quite happy to write, although i fear that i may have burned out my editor. So once again this is not really edited and it is a raw chapter. I apologize for that and I am aware that it may sound strange,, I'm sorry lmao. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Once upon a time, he had thought of himself as the happiest and luckiest boy out there. He had a family who loved and cared for him, he had friends who were always kind and never did anything to try and hurt him. He longed for nothing back home and Phil, or as they called him back then, their dad, was always around whenever something went wrong or when they needed him. They always had each other and he thought it would last forever, he thought that it would be them against the world and that their bond was unable to break. God, was he wrong. 

It all started when Tommy and Wilbur ran away and decided that it would have been an awesome idea to start their own, leaving the snowy field they had grown up in to join in on the land which Clay owned. He wasn’t a president or a king, he was more a ruler over the land and made sure things were working properly and that nothing was wrong. He did not show his face too much since most people managed to keep things to themselves and not cause any troubles. 

Tommy and Wilbur however were not about to follow him and instead they wanted to have a whole new area for themselves. He had been there that day when they started building their own town which was small but beautiful. He had loved it there and he was sure that if Phil saw them back then, he would have been proud of his boys and what they had managed to do, Clay, however, was not as pleased. 

They had wanted independence, they had wanted everything. They functioned as a small community when they broke into their first war, a war that was the first step to ruin them. All he did was watch and follow them around as he watched the betrayal, watched his friends fall apart, and let their bodies scar with their attempts. Why were they doing this? He did not know. It was the determination in his friend’s eyes that kept him going, even as he sat and watched his house burn down from afar. 

He never knew they would win. 

They had made it and never before had he watched his friends be so happy and so proud over themselves as they raised their flags, shouting in joy to each other and spreading love and joy. He was so proud of them and he was happy, they finally had a home of their own which they had created. Phil would have been so proud of them, why had he never been there? 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The air was starting to grow cold around them, fall already in full movement as he sat on the hill to L’manburg. He was looking over his country and smiling to himself as his fingers braided the grass surrounding him. There was no snow yet and there were no leaves to hide away the ground around, so he tried to remember the feel and the freedom before it was too late and he had to wait for several cold months until he could touch the green grass once more. He was not a big fan of those months. 

He sighed to himself and leaned his head back, the sun hitting him dead on but not providing him too much heat. The thin shirt over his chest did not do what it was intended to do and so he longed to go back inside and cuddle underneath a blanket or at least put on something thicker. Just a few more minutes, he promised himself. Just a few more. 

“Are you sitting here again?” A chirpy and loud noise interrupted him and Tubbo turned around to face the person who had spoken. There stood his blond friend with messy hair and his suit a little messed up. It was the suit which was made the national one for their little community and he had to admit that he liked it, it was pleasing and cool to look at. Although it looked strange when everything was lying unevenly. 

“Your suit is messed up, is that how it’s supposed to be?” He chuckled as Tommy sat down next to him, plumping down on the ground with a smile on his face and his eyes full of wonder. He never knew or understood how he did it, always looking like adventures were just around the corner. 

Tommy muttered something underneath his breath and looked down over himself, quickly starting to try and fix everything to how it was supposed to be and how the suit was supposed to fit on him. It was big in some places and large in others, probably because he was very tall and thin. It looked kinda cute though, Tubbo rolled his eyes. 

“You are supposed to go on stage in front of everyone, and you did not even bother to check in the mirror?”

“Hey man, I got lots of things on my mind!” 

Tubbo leaned back in the grass, lying his back against the cool ground and looking towards the sky. It was such a pretty day and a big one for Tommy, the first part of the elections was starting today and the teams were going to be read out publicly. Tommy was on one of the teams together with Wilbur, something which Tubbo stood behind, although he himself had been hesitant to join and so he was watching from the sidelines. 

Tommy glanced over him, smiled before messing with his hair as to tease. The brunet scoffed and pushed his hand away, shouting a small ‘hey!’ at him before dragging him down to lay next to him. Tommy did not try to fight against him and decided to listen, letting his body fall down to lay next to one of his dearest friends. Or well, sometimes Tubbo felt like they were actually brothers.

Some things did remind him however that he was not a part of their family biologically. He had gotten taken in by Phil and he and Tommy were nothing but best friends, although he would have wanted it to be just more than that. He wished that Tommy was his actual brother and that they shared blood together, but it would never happen. Things like… those, reminded him. 

He could see the way Tommy’s eyes moved over to look at the side of his head, he saw how worry and confusion struck over his expression even though he tried hard to hide it. Tubbo knew he was looking and he knew that he was wondering about why they were there and where they had come from, he too wanted answers. But it felt strange and wrong to address them, almost as if they would talk about how a tumor was developing on the sides of his head. There were two of them, after all. 

“Does it hurt?” Tommy whispered underneath his breath, and Tubbo shook his head as he reached out to gently touch them. 

“No, they don’t. Although sometimes, they do. I guess they are just growing.”

The horns were small and were growing out from the sides of his forehead and a little up, they were small and not too sharp. They were rounded off on the top and they were smooth and cold to touch, almost as if they were bones that had started to grow strangely. But they were not white, instead, they were grey or even brown up as if they were goat’s horns. They had not yet grown too big and he hoped they would stay that way. 

He was not sure why they were there or why they were even growing. There was no reasoning behind them and there was nothing to explain their strange appearance. One day he had just woken up with an extreme headache only to find out that there were lumps right underneath his skin- maybe he had just hit himself? He had not thought too much about it until they had not left for two weeks, that is when they got worried. 

At first, he was worried for the worst, he thought that his time was just around the corner and that this was his time to go, but a month or so later he had yet to die and the lumps were starting to peak out. They were small horns, horns that should not be there. 

Phil had only looked at him with pity hidden inside of his eyes before turning away, leaving the boy in the dark kitchen and not looking back. He did never find out why. 

They decided silently to drop the subject at that, getting up from the ground and Tubbo once again trying to help Tommy with his outfit. It took quite some whining from the other before it was once again fixed and they were ready to run down to the podium which was waiting for them, or well, waiting for one of them. Tubbo had to take his seat down with everyone else. 

There were lots of people there, all of their friends and everyone they knew had taken a seat in their chairs and looked up towards the podium. It was quite pretty and tall, the microphone looking like a dot against the wood and stone podium which rested on top of the little hill. It looked peaceful, calm even. He smiled to himself and played with the hem of his shirt, trying to keep himself calm. 

He was nervous, not sure how this would go. He knew Tommy spoke his mind without thinking first and he knew he and Wilbur together were quite chaotic. They often got into small teasing fights with each other and went their own way, but they were also the ones who had started this whole thing and fought for this community. He had to believe in them, and so he smiled, hoping that maybe his joy could reflect back. 

The air felt tense, even if nothing had happened yet. He was not sure why it was like that or if something was going on which he was not aware of, but maybe he was just nervous. He hoped that it was just his nerves acting up and that everything was fine, he was not sure how he was going to cope if something was wrong. 

Wilbur and Tommy looked small on stage, but he knew they were very tall while standing next to the two. They looked proud and happy, Tommy standing up straight for once in his life. He chuckled at that and let the wind caress his skin, imagining that this was just the second step in making sure their country was secure. 

Wilbur walked up to the microphone, grabbing a hold of it and testing out the audio. Tubbo sat up in his chair, leaning forward instead of his previous calm and collected pose he had been in earlier. This was truly it, this was the last step and then they could finally live in peace in something they had started. He longed for those days and he ran a hand through his hair, biting down on his lip as he watched the actions happening above. 

“Hello! And welcome to the introduction for the different parties fighting for the power over L’manburg.” He took a pause and glanced over the audience, only a few clapping and smiling. Most of them looked bored, not caring about what was going on up there. Everyone was there though, he even thought of himself seeing Eret in the back hiding. A shiver ran up his spine and he blinked.

He held a speech about wanting to hold democracy in L’manburg, talking about how every citizen should have a right and that there would always be someone in the position of the presidency to make sure things were going alright. He mentioned the war, brief history, and how their country was growing to be strong and powerful, a nice place where nothing should be done out of violence or fear. They did not want to have it as Dream’s land, they wanted something different. 

It was probably an interesting speech, but he found himself slowly fading away to think about what Tommy had asked earlier, did it hurt?

Sometimes it did hurt, it hurt whenever he thought of them as growing just like growing pains but they were still so small. He was not even sure what they were made out of or how they managed to grow, it was so strange. He was not even sure what had caused it- no one else had horns, only him. 

His fingers reached up to touch the small horns looking out from underneath the brown locks, they were cool to touch but still as smooth as always. They did not hurt to touch, it was almost nice to just run your fingers over them and he had found himself touching them quite often. They were a mystery to him, but they did not physically hurt. 

Mentally, though, they did.

He had so many questions about them and he was not even sure why they were there or what was wrong with him. Phil had not wanted to look closer at them and Tubbo was sure that the old man was hiding something from him. He knew that there were more to them than just random horns suddenly growing out of his head, they were special. He did not know why, and no matter how much he tried to think about it he could not come to a conclusion. 

He hated to not know, and he hated being in the dark. He wanted to know more about them and he wanted to know why he had gotten them. Was something bad happening to him or was it some sort of gene thing? He had no idea who his parents were, all he knew was that Phil had found him in a cardboard box one day along the street. Or that’s at least what he had told him, Wilbur always had a funny look whenever Phil explained that day to him. 

“First of all, me and Tommy will be the first team to present ourselves! The second team is Alex and George.”

Alex and George got up from their chairs, Alex looking quite excited as he stood up and walked to the left side of the stage and waved to everyone sitting down in their chairs. Tubbo did not give anything else but a smile back to them, they were his friends of course, but they were also going against his friends. They were on the second team and he had no idea what they even stood for. 

Alex was a good friend of his, or well, whenever they hung out. Alex was quite loud and they matched in having chaotic energy, although Alex was a lot more visible and such than him. The man was kind in his heart though for people he loved so he could not see him doing anything wrong to the country other than being oblivious about things. George on the other hand was quite the dick. 

He had been fighting against them in the L’manburg war and so Tubbo was not even sure how he was allowed to participate in this election as a vice president. It did not feel right and Tubbo cringed to himself as he remembered the colorblind man standing on the other side of the walls together with a sword in his hand, looking at his friends as if they were nothing but prey. He had also been in on burning down his house so he did not feel a liking to him. For L’manburg’s sake, he wished that they would just fall off the stage and lose. 

The third team to be announced was something that came as a shock to him. Floris who was Wilbur’s basically son, (no one knows where he came from, one day Wilbur just showed up with a baby saying it was his kid), was getting up on the stage together with a blonde girl. Her facial expression was soft but proud. 

She had been joining L’manburg somewhere after the war and she was quick to stand by Wilbur’s side. She was kind and strong, someone who might not be too visible in a crowd but on stage she looked like a queen. Her hair was straight and light, her eyes filled with fire as she stood next to Floris who looked so cheerful. 

It must be something big, to have just turned eighteen and be able to participate in the presidency (Tommy being an exception since he was vice president and one of the main leaders during the L’manburg war). There was not a rule or an age limit, but they would not have accepted a minor to run for president for a whole country. Plus, he was a citizen who had been ‘born’ into the country as Wilbur liked to say it. He too was kind. 

Tubbo had grown to like him over their in common love for crafting and machinery. He and Floris had managed to bond and had spent many hours trying to play around with physics and once even chemistry. He liked the man and he felt strong-willed over that he was going to participate in the election. 

In a way, he wished he had been up there with them. There was a rock inside of his chest as he looked at his friends with pride in his eyes and such joy to know they had gotten so far. He wanted to be there, he probably deserved to be up there too but something inside of him told him that it was wrong and to not steal this from his friends.

After all, he was just an outsider. They were family and they had been the ones pulling the strings and fighting to get where they are right now. He himself had not done too much and he found himself thinking that he was just the ‘cardboard box kid’. It was obvious that his friends did not see him like that and that they actually counted him as a part of the family, but it still felt weird and wrong. 

“And for our last team, team Schlatt!” Wilbur’s voice rang out in the air and woke the brunet out of his thinking, making his eyes glance up to the stage to see one last person walking up on the stage. 

He walked proudly, every step is taken as if he owned the place and as if he saw himself as the winner already. His eyes were flames but not in a good way like Floris and Niki, instead these eyes looked mischievous and dangerous as if he already had plans of what could change. It was scary to look at him, he was intimidating and large. 

His hair was a mess but dark brown, almost the exact same shade as his own. His body was built strongly and Tubbo feared that the man on the stage could snap him in two if he wanted to, judging by how much larger than him he looked to be. He had never seen him around before, but he gave Wilbur a hug which must mean that they are familiar with each other in some way. His composure changed after the hug, however, making the man look uneasy and tense. 

That was not even what scared him the most, there was something else that made his whole mind collapse and turn into one large mess. 

By the sides of his head, probably somewhere around his ears, two horns stood out. They were thick and long, curling themselves slightly and tilting upwards where a sharp tip stood proudly into the air. They were a darker shade of grey and brown and Tubbo found himself once again reaching for his own horns which had just started to grow. 

He was the only one he had ever seen who shared the same kind of feature. 

“Thank you, Wilbur. It is such a pleasure to be here.” 

His voice reeked of poison and lies, making Tubbo feel nauseous. The boy stood up from his chair and looked at the man on the stage, his legs shaking underneath him as his heart started to pick up its pace and flooding his body with warm blood. The adrenaline was pumping inside of him, his whole body growing alert and quick as he looked at what he believed to be a dangerous man. 

A man, which was the only person in the whole world who also had horns like him. 

Tubbo quickly got out, running away from the chairs which were laid out and darting away towards the side. He could not stay, he could not see him. He could not look at him and see a part of himself in someone who reeked of trouble and someone he had never seen in his life, someone which Wilbur even seemed to know. 

He wished Tommy was there with him, and not up there shaking his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My touch starved self met my friend today and I got so many hugs I could cry. There is so much joy in me right now. 
> 
> I hope you all have a good day and take care of yourselves! Once again, comments are so appreciated and they really make my day and help with the makings of this chapters. I love you all, thank you so much for the happy comments. 
> 
> <3<3


	3. Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does it feel to lose someone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello AO3, how we doing today?
> 
> Im sorry if these chapters feel slow, i am trying to make sure this story has a good base before starting most of the drama and such. I assure it will truly start soon!
> 
> How you all doing? I hope you're doing okay and having a good day! I love you all so much. 
> 
> I have a huge exam this week and i am gonna cry lmao please help- it really sucks but at least i get to see my class again! i miss them a lot, they are cool. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

“You can’t hide here forever, you know.”

Ranboo stood in the doorway and looked on him, studying his friend and taking in the way he stood over his table where a little plush bee was laying. It looked old and well used, the color already starting to fade away from the animal and leaving it to look pale. Ranboo had seen it peeking out of a box in the corner once or twice but he had never seen his friend actually having it out for display. 

Tubbo’s shoulders were hanging down and he looked almost sad as he stared at the bee. His eyes were scanning over the little plush and trying to remember anything about it besides from what Phil and Wilbur had told him.

They had said that they found him in that box holding on to the bee for dear life and they had no idea where he had gotten it from or why he had it. All they had known was that it was impossible to try and tear the two apart from each other and that he loved his little bee. As a child (or more as a baby) he never could fall asleep without it and he brought it with him wherever they went. Tommy did not even take it away from him in attempts to tease. 

It felt like there was something more to it, he could not just have gotten the bee out of nowhere, someone must have gifted it to him. 

It would have been weird if someone random had seen him and just given him the bee without giving him something else or made a call, so strangers were most likely out of the question. He knew Phil was lying about something when it came to how they discovered him or where he came from, so maybe they had given him the bee after all and made him believe that he just always had had it. But that wouldn’t make sense either. 

So maybe, just maybe, it was his parents or someone who knew him?

He had no idea who his family was, he was not even sure if Tubbo was his real name or not. It’s just what Phil had called him over the years and he had never really questioned it. It always felt natural and right that his name was Tubbo, almost as if it had always been like that or if the universe had given him his name. 

He was not sure if his parents were alive or if he had any siblings or what his family had done for a living. He did not know what school they had gone to, he did not know their names and he had no idea what they looked like. He did not know if he had his mother’s eyes or if he shared his father’s personality. Those small details really did not matter, but he still wanted to know them. Tommy knew them as well as Wilbur, why was he different? 

Why did they have the privilege of knowing but not him? Why did they manage to live without these questions and know who they were when he did not? It was so unfair and he hated himself for it so much, he hated the world and he hated everything around him for keeping his history secret. He wanted answers, that is all that he wanted and he had hoped that the bee would have helped emerge something. But it was stupid. 

Tubbo turned around to look at his friend, not even bothering to hide the amount of stress and exhaustion he knew was just underneath. Ranboo knew him well enough and he was getting tired of hiding from his best friends, it had already gone a week and the results of the election were already starting to roll in. It was just a matter of days before they knew who the first president of L’manburg would be. He knows he should be excited and nervous for his friends and he is, but he is also caught up in his own mess to keep up with it all. 

Ranboo did not waste a second before running towards his friend, crossing the floor and the room before wrapping his arms around the other boy who just accepted it. It took him a few seconds before he agreed to hug back, hesitating to lean his face into the other’s chest. Ranboo gently rubbed his hand over his back, trying his best to comfort him. 

Ever since his horns had started to grow he had gone more self-conscious whenever he hugged someone. He was scared that they would poke the other person and that he would accidentally hurt them or something similar, heck he had even backed away from Tommy sometimes. This time, however, he was too tired to care about it. He just needed to feel like there was someone out there who cared for him and missed him. 

Tommy had been so busy with the election lately that they barely had had time to talk or to hang out. He and Wilbur were basically glued to each other and he himself sat on the side and watched, giving him time to think about himself and who he was. The horns were not disappearing and he was not even sure what they were. 

“Do you think they are alive?” He mumbled and Ranboo hummed quietly, leaning his head slightly back so that he would be able to see his friend better. “My parents, they must be alive, right? I couldn’t have just gotten a box on my own.” 

Tubbo broke the hug and glanced back to the bee which was laying on the table, looking out over his room with its big eyes and wings. It was actually a quite pretty looking plushie and not like those cheap ones which you could see at carnivals. He liked his bee and he wished he knew where he had gotten it from or if it held some special meaning. 

“Tubbo!”   
  
A loud shriek woke him up from his wondering, making him turn his head towards his door where a now very disgruntled Tommy stood. He was gasping for air as if he had just run a mile and his eyes were bright with wonder and curiosity. He leaned against the doorframe and wiped the sweat away from his forehead before shooting him a smile. “The results are in, come quick!”

There was no time to waste, the bee was left forgotten on the table. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wilbur was already waiting on the podium and it seemed like everyone was already there waiting for the results to come in. He was not sure how they had all gotten there before him, but he had also been locked inside of his little house for the past week going through books and old boxes of his childhood to get at least something on who he was or about the horns. He had not even noticed that so much time had passed by, he was sure only a day or two had passed. No wonder Ranboo had shown up at his doorstep. 

Tommy was running up to the stage, getting an angry stare from Wilbur which he just shrugged off before taking his place behind him. He looked confident and tall up there, almost as if he owned the place and as if he had no worries about what was going to happen. It was a good thing in Tubbo’s eyes, he deserved it. It was his country and he was the only one (together with Wilbur of course,) who were the right rulers of L’manburg. 

Tubbo sat down in an empty chair at the front, Ranboo sitting down behind him which made him feel a little better. He did not like sitting down there all alone and watching them, it just felt off and not right. Having someone he trusted and someone he liked nearby made him feel better and safer, especially now when Tommy was not beside him anymore. 

He missed his friend so much, he missed the times when they were not fighting over a country and when they were not in the middle of a game called politics. He missed those times when it was just them against the world running around and playing with sticks or just being kids together. He did not like this whole thing even if he was proud of how far they had come. 

When had they grown so different from each other?

“Welcome, the results of the election are in!” People were clapping behind him, and he knew he should be clapping as well but he could not bring himself to do it. He felt nauseous as he sat in his chair looking up towards the stage, staring at his best friend and his brother. Wilbur was holding a paper in his hand, an envelope which most likely contained the results of the election. Tubbo bit his lip. 

Alex was standing to the side of them, George nowhere to be seen. He wondered where the vice president was and if he was running late or if something had happened, either way Alex looked pissed and you could almost see the steam coming off of him. It was a terrifying sight to see, especially since he usually seemed so happy and unbothered. 

But what made him feel the worst was Schlatt as they had introduced him a few weeks back, sitting proudly in a chair with a tie which seemed to sit slightly loose around his neck. His eyes were scanning over the crowd bored, looking at every citizen who presented themselves there. His hair looked so dark from afar and his horns were large, making Tubbo instinctively reach up and touch his own which were a whole lot smaller. 

Schlatt’s eyes locked in on him and he quickly pulled down his hand again, looking down to the ground to avoid as much eye contact as he could. 

Once again Wilbur held his little speech about L’manburg and how today was a big day for them all, something which Tubbo did not want to listen to. He knew it was important for his friends and even for himself, but he had so many other questions rolling around in his head that it was hard to even try and understand what was being said up on the stage. He just wished he could tune out of it and go back home. 

Numbers flew around in the air, talking about the different percentage of the votes and how many votes they had officially gotten. There were lots and he hummed to himself as he played with the sleeves of his shirt, nervously tugging at them as he looked at Tommy who’s facial expression had changed.

He was nervous, it was not hard to tell. 

But then he said it. 

They had won. 

Tommy threw himself over Wilbur, hugging him and shouting different ‘yes!’ and ‘we did it!’ to his friend. But there was something off with Wilbur’s expression which Tubbo immediately picked up on. He could feel the way his body tensed up and how adrenaline was starting to pump through his entire body while watching Wilbur. He leaned forward in his chair and put his hands in front of his mouth, silently begging to know what was going on. 

Wilbur shook his head and pushed Tommy off of him, continuing with the speech he had prepared. The whole world was spinning as he read the words, names and unfortunate events filling the air and making everyone in the crowd tense up. The sun was too bright, it was blocking his view of the others and he could no longer tell what Tommy was thinking. What was he thinking?

“-beating Pog2020 by one percent.”

They had been so close, they had been so, so very close. 

The air around him went cold and his shoulders slumped down, his whole body going numb as he squinted his eyes to look at them. Someone was laughing, he couldn’t tell who. It was a dark and rich laugh which seemed to overtake him and fill him with fear. It was a terrible laugh, a frightening laugh he did not enjoy. Who was laughing? 

Wilbur and Tommy moved down from the stage, meeting with Niki and Floris who were already standing to the side with worried expressions. The four people looked troubled and as if something was incredibly wrong, one glance to the stage confirmed why. 

He did not know who this Schlatt person was, he seemed scary and mean with his bored eyes and evil smirk. The way his whole body leaned and the way he walked screamed of danger and he wanted nothing else but to try and escape his eyes. He hated how those eyes looked at him and he hated how he looked like he was in complete control, this was not his country. Why was he even up there and where had he come from?

His horns were large, he was the only one who shared them. He might be able to hold the answers to what they were or where he had gotten it from, but judging by how he seemed to be as a person did he want to know? The evil glint in his eyes, the lack of empathy which was so evident in the way he acted scared him and made the smaller boy wonder if the horn was a connection to that same evil. Was he evil?

“Tubbo, get up here.” His body moved on its own. 

He did not want to walk up there and he did not want to stand next to Schlatt, he wanted to stay down with the crowd and hide away again. He wanted to run to Tommy and flee with him to run away. They could make it right? Tommy may not be the brightest but he had managed to create a whole nation so he must have some basic survival knowledge, right? They could build a cottage in the woods, anything. 

He glanced over to Tommy as he walked up the stairs to get to the stage, those eyes scanning him and silently apologizing for what had just happened. His hair was falling into his eyes and he looked shocked and sad. It was not his fault, however. He had done everything just right. If he could he would have gone against Schlatt, but he knew it would be wrong. Schlatt was now the one in charge and he wanted him. Why, though? 

Tubbo was shaking, his small body trembling as he stood next to the very large man. He was even scarier up front, tall and strong built with a stance which reeked of power. His horns were similar to his own even if they were larger, seeing them up closer helped to study them and he swallowed at the sight of them. Why did he have those, how were they so large? 

The wood underneath his feet cracked and whined as he walked over it, looking out over the crowd which was now beneath him. They looked so small, different expressions on their faces. Some looked to be bored, others were smiling. The air felt chilly as it stroked his chin and grabbed a hold of his hair, green eyes looking out over his friends and people who had showed up for the election. 

“My first decree…”

_ You are no president of mine.  _

_   
_ “Is to revoke!”

_ You are not welcome here _

“The citizenship… of Wilbur Soot”

_ You have no rights. _

“...And Tommy Innit.”

He quickly tore his eyes away from the crowd and towards Schlatt, his mouth falling open and eyes going wide. His heart stopped beating inside of himself and the whole world seemed to disappear around him. Everything was blurry; as if he was looking through a thick plastic walls which only revealed silhouettes to shine through. He couldn’t hear anything, he could not even feel the air against his skin anymore. 

Tommy was running, and so was Wilbur. 

They were running so fast as bows raised themselves against the boys, aiming to try and shoot them and cause an injury. It was unfair and wrong, they did not deserve this. What was happening? What had gone wrong?

He wanted to scream for them, he wanted to scream for them to come back and to not worry. He wanted to run after them and go wherever they were going as well, he did not want to be left alone like this. He did not want to watch his friends run away without him, he did not want them to have to run in the first place. He could barely even hear himself as his lungs burned at the loss of air, his throat hurting as he clutched onto himself trying to scream for his best friend. 

He didn’t look back and before he knew it he was gone, disappearing behind the walls which were L’manburg. It hurt everything inside of him, it was almost like watching a piece of himself fly away towards the sun without a goodbye. He didn’t even get to say goodbye or give a hug, he did not even get to look him in the eyes. 

He was angry, rage bubbling inside of him. His best friend was out of the country, banned and now gone. Where would he even go? Would he ever come back? It had all happened so quick, he was not even sure on where they had gone to or if they were okay. Maybe they would return soon in secret, maybe he could find Tommy and Wilbur. But where would he look?   
  
His best friend was gone, he had been chased out. He had been chased out of his own nation. 

A hand placed itself on his shoulder and the small boy looked up to see Schlatt standing there with a smirk on his lips. He hated him and Tubbo wanted nothing but to push him off the stage or scream at him to get them back, to bring his best friend back to him and to never touch them ever again. He wanted to punch him and claw at him- but he knew he couldn’t. Not now and not like this. It was so unfair and wrong, why had this happened?

“You are with me, kid.” He spoke and the brunet flinched away, trying to get away from his large and filthy hands. He hated him, he hated him with a burning passion and there was no way in hell he would ever do anything for him. 

“Don’t even bother, you are under my power now. Get used to it.”

People were starting to leave, going back to their everyday life and not even bothering to stick around. How much time had passed since Tommy and Wilbur had gotten thrown out? It had probably only been around twenty minutes. Did people really get bored that quickly?

There was something about Schlatt’s eyes which disturbed him, the way he looked at him almost as if he knew something he didn’t. It was terrifying to see and he hated the way he looked at him, he hated him and he did not want anything to do with him, not after what had happened today and not after what he had done. Schlatt was a terrible person and there was nothing which could change his mind.

There was so much anger inside of the boy, his hands clenched by his sides as he turned to walk away from the man who now was in power of the nation his friends had created. His eyes were tearing up and his nerves were more alive than ever under his skin. What was going on? 

The horns were hurting again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, comments and kudos are highly appreciated! They truly do help and mean a lot more than you think. You dont even have to leave one here, you can go to your favorite author and leave one on their works! We are just like any artists and stuff like that can truly turn out world around, trust me. I try to leave one too every now and then. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and that you have a lovely night/day!
> 
> Also, my social medias are in my bio so if you ever want to reach out feel free to do so! If you want to talk im here <3


	4. Mint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo's horns seems to not give him a single moment in peace, and someone tries to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I am so sorry for not writing, this past week has been hell lmao. 
> 
> I hope you all are doing great! I miss you all :,) 
> 
> A little warning for this chapter, it contains a little bit of migraines. Im not sure if its a big thing, but I want to mention it just in case. 
> 
> I love you all, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

He followed him around like a shadow, whenever he was not close he got yelled at. 

Schlatt was a big and scary guy, his horns were large and made him look bigger and more dangerous, almost like a snake raising itself off of the ground trying to scare a predator away. He was loud and he was not afraid to voice his opinion or do whatever he wanted, one could believe that he owned this place with how he was behaving. It sucked, more or less. 

He declared Tubbo as his right hand man and the little boy didn’t have any say in the matter. He kept his mouth shut and only nodded, agreeing as he became the tail of his president- a president he hated. A president he wished could do a JFK and just get shot and die at any time. Maybe one day, he whispered to himself. Maybe one day. 

Today however, was like any other day. Schlatt was once again sitting in the white house that had been empty for a long time together with Alex who looked quite comfortable in his lap. It was sickening to watch them and the boy wanted nothing else but to get up and leave- leave the two men to whatever the hell it was that they were doing. It was overall disgusting. Schlatt didn’t even treat his friend all that well. 

The chair was more comfortable than the one he had at home, but he still missed the old wooden pile back at the little cabin he had in the docks. It was such a lovely place and he enjoyed staying there. Lately though, Schlatt had wanted him to stay close at all times and so they both shared the whitehouse together with Alex and sometimes George. George liked to be somewhere else with his friends most of the time and barely showed his face, Schlatt didn’t seem to care. 

The whole situation felt weird. They were supposed to have a meeting about the lack of food which was in L’manburg and all Schlatt had said was “tax them” which no one else had agreed to. Tubbo especially had protested since there was nothing to even tax, they were all starving and no one wanted to work and no one wanted to offer anything since there was nothing to offer. It was a small crisis, a crisis Wilbur never would have let happen. 

If Wilbur had been here, he would have gone out to the people and asked if there was anything that he could do and if the people of L’manburg had any ideas or suggestions. He would not sit on a throne like-chair with a guy in his lap while drinking whiskey and flirting in Spanish. How did he even know Spanish? Tubbo was quite certain he was american and not too well educated. He hit him like the kind of guy who ran from class. 

The room was large around him, making the smaller boy feel small. His clothes had changed from a normal sweater and jeans to black pants and a suit which Schlatt had insisted him on wearing. Why? He was not sure, maybe the dude was just really into suits and making sure everyone looked classy. It was almost funny. 

“Will you guys stop? Seriously!” Tubbo smashed his fists down onto the table, sending a glare towards the two who broke out of their little Spanish rant to look at the boy by the table. The fluffy brown hair which was usually a bit of a mess had now been carefully combed, but still there were strands protesting and doing a little whatever they wanted. Schlatt had huffed at him by the sight, telling him to “be a man” and fix it. 

Alex chuckled and smiled before looking back up at Schlatt who gave Tubbo a funny look, almost as if he was studying him and trying to figure something out. He hated it and he wanted him to stop doing it, especially since it was not the first time he had done it either. From time to time the man would send him sad looks when he thought no one was looking, but Tubbo was noticing and he was getting frustrated. 

Schlatt pushed Alex off of his lap and reached for the glass of whiskey which rested on the table, bringing the glass to his lips while maintaining eye contact with his right hand man. Tubbo swallowed but tried to keep his posture well, not wanting to falter under that glare which was sent his way. How was he even that intimidating? Why did it feel so strange to be around him? 

“Is someone a little upset?” There was a smirk, Alex sat down in his own chair. 

“They are starving, you aren’t doing shit about it! Yes, I am upset.” 

Schlatt huffed before putting down his glass again, breaking the eye contact and glancing down to the papers which rested on the table. Tubbo prayed that the man would just pull himself together and try and fix the issue, an issue which would not have existed if this man had just stayed in whatever hole he had crawled up from. 

It sucked to have him around and Tubbo felt a hatred towards him, he hated the way he did not seem to care and he hated how he was so carefree and lived life as if this world was made to serve him. It was disgusting to watch and if he had gotten any say in the matter, Schlatt would have been kicked off his throne long ago. But he was still just a boy and he had no power alone, he was stuck as the right hand man and he had to play things right. 

“Make them pay a little extra and boom, money enough to buy some food. Or maybe they should just stop moping around and do something with their lives.” It was the last straw for the brunet and he slammed his fist on the table. Schlatt went dead silent. 

“You have no rights to talk about them that way.” The boy hissed and Schlatt leaned back in his chair, unbothered. He was studying the boy like he always did, taking in his reaction and if Tubbo had a guess, he was probably remembering it. It felt strange, almost as if Schlatt was trying to learn things about him or find out about his weaknesses so that he could manipulate him later on. Wilbur would never have done that, he knew Tubbo and he would have tried to help instead of judge. This whole situation was fucked.

“Come on man, it’s not that bad.” Alex quirks in, trying to ease the mood with a different demeanor than he usually had. Why was Alex acting like this? He couldn’t seriously be into the whole Schlatt thing and like him, could he? Wasn’t it all an act so that Schlatt wouldn’t throw him out? Either way it was starting to go on his nerves. 

Tubbo shook his head and stood up from his chair, turning his back on the two and walking out of the room. He couldn’t stand being around them and he couldn’t stand seeing them treating his people and his friends like this. Tommy had fought so hard for this place, where was he now? Was he alright? Was he even alive? Something inside of him hurt.

He wanted to find Tommy and he wanted to bring him back home, he wanted to travel over the land to try and get his best friend back and make it all stop. Schlatt couldn’t possibly be in the right, he was a horrible man and Alex was falling for his tricks. It was sickening, why had Wilbur even let him join? They seemed to have known each other. Why would Schlatt even do this?

He made up his mind. 

The suit was uncomfortable around his body, it made him feel like someone he wasn’t and he wanted to discard it and throw it into the mud. It would be a waste however and he would feel bad about destroying perfectly fine clothes, but they reminded him of Schlatt and he wanted to distance himself from that man. 

The crystal white halls were blinding him and almost made him feel claustrophobic. They stretched so far up but still they reminded him of a prison cell which would contain him for god knows how long. It stressed him and he wanted to get out of there, he wanted to run out and never return. How had he even gotten into his situation?   
  
He tried to walk down the hall, but the fear was starting to grow on him. It was not until he reached the end of the hall that he realized that this is not fear, this was something else. Something which he felt rarely but came at times anyways. His stomach started to hurt and his vision was growing blurry. 

It was happening again, it was going to happen again. 

He hated to lie, he hated to try and keep things to himself and he hated the way he tried to convince himself that this was not happening- the thing is, they were. He had no control over it and he felt so lost and anxious as he leaned against the wall. He just had to make it out of there, he just had to get into a room somewhere where he was alone. There was a door just a few steps ahead. 

But he did not make it. 

The pain erupted in his head, and he slumped down to the floor. 

Every now and then his horns would start to grow or change, but only slightly. It was like growing pains but they came in waves and hurt just as much as a knife to the chest. It burned and it made everything around him turn into a high mess, things blurring together and colors changing around him. It hurt so much, it hurt. 

He was leaning against the wall with a hand over his horns, almost as if his hand was going to protect him from the pain which was filling him up. It made him feel nauseous, like a heavy migraine. It was worse than a migraine, however, this was a migraine which felt never ending. 

He could not be around while this was happening, he had to get out of public view and he had to hide. He did not enjoy to show himself vulnerable or in this type of pain over nothing, it made him feel weak and as if he was a baby. He wanted to get out of there but the pain in his head was not helpful with making right decisions or trying to steer his body towards the door. He couldn’t feel anything else besides the burning in his head, not even the hot tears which were streaming down his cheeks. 

Tubbo was a mess, clutching on to himself and trying to move. For some reason his legs did not seem to be working, and the ground felt closer, underneath him. When had he fallen down? He did not know. The door was so close, but still so far away. He whined quietly in pain as he tried to use his arms to drag himself closer to the door, trying so desperately to get out of there. He was failing, however. 

“Come on kid, please.” There was a voice, but he couldn’t pinpoint who. There was barely even a way for him to make out the words since he was too busy trying to concentrate on not feeling the pain from his horns. His hand was wet, why was it wet? He didn’t want to look, he didn’t want to see the mess which he had experienced last time. Last time when he had spent almost half an hour trying to clean off the blood from his floor because of the growth. 

There was a ringing in his ear, and he couldn’t even smell the weird scent which lingered inside of the white house anymore. It all seemed to be fading around him and he prayed and hoped that he was passing out, fainting so that he could escape the pain which was taking over his small form. It was pathetic, in all honesty. Laying on a marble floor after storming out of a meeting due to horns growing out of his head and giving him the worst pain anyone could imagine. 

His body suddenly was lifted off from the floor, but he could not move. His limbs had gone numb and he was slowly starting to drift out as well. Things were no longer blurry, they were fading out and everything was turning into the same white as the walls. His horns weren’t even hurting anymore, nothing was hurting anymore. 

  * \- - - - - -



  
  
  


He heard the soft sound of water dripping and getting disturbed. 

He was lying down and it felt like he was on some sort of couch judged by how soft it felt, his fingers gracing the soft fabric which felt cold to touch. It was hard to open his eyes and it took him a few seconds before he managed to try and blink them open, taking in the area he was in. Everything was too bright at first, but once he managed to get used to it he saw the room clearly. 

It looked antique, nice furniture and dark painted walls which surrounded him. There was a fireplace which was in full use at the moment, a bright flame inside dancing peacefully for him and sending out both warmth and light. He had never seen the room before, he could not remember it and he could not even think of anyone who would have such a room like this. Where was he?

He turned his head to the side and grimaced at the jolt of pain which flooded him at the movement, making him cringe for a second before once again prying his eyes open to take in the figure who was sitting beside him together with a wet cloth in his hand. 

The man looked like he was a deer who had been caught in headlights, staring at him nervously as he held the wet cloth. His fingers were digging into the fabric in a way Tubbo only assumed was anxiety, but anxious over what?   
  
Schlatt sat there, not moving a muscle. 

For a second they just looked at each other, Tubbo trying to take the scene in and come to his senses meanwhile Schlatt was unsure on what he was supposed to say or do. It was quite awkward and Tubbo felt himself growing more and more aware by the second of what was happening, confusion overtaking him as he came to his bearings.

“What?” 

His voice sounded hoarse and he hated himself for it, trying to swallow the lump in his throat and ignore the thumping in his head. It was not as bad as it had been before the world had disappeared, but it was still bad. Bearable, however. His eyes scanned over the man who was starting to retreat himself, grabbing the little bowl of water and the cloth and placing it on a table behind him. 

Tubbo sat up carefully and tried to not groan in pain, reaching up to touch the horns which were making such a fuss today. It usually only happened a few times, why had it happened today? Most of the time it took a week or two between the attacks, this time there had only been about five days, the day after Tommy and Wilbur had gotten exiled. He hated it. 

“I found you in the hall.” Schlatt mumbled quietly and Tubbo gave him a funny look. It felt strange that Schlatt had found him, and even if he had, why had he of all people taken him in? Sure it must have been quite a strange sight to see and anyone would have gotten worried, but Schlatt did not feel like the guy to care or go this far. 

Was it because he knew the pain? Had he also experienced the growth of the horns and therefore knew what kind of pain he was feeling? Did Schlatt even care if he did? I mean, sure he may know the pain but it doesn’t mean that he automatically would care if Tubbo felt that pain. The guy was an asshole, he wanted to let people starve and not take care of them judging by how he had acted in the meeting. 

“Why did you bring me here?” Tubbo mumbled and Schlatt shook his head. 

The boy sighed at the lack of an answer and tried to stand up, his vision blurring for a few seconds as the pain overtook him once again. It was just another reminder of how fucked up his situation was and that he was different from everyone else. He didn’t want to be different, he didn’t want to be the boy who passed out in pain because of some god damn horns. 

“Kid, sit down.” Tubbo hissed at him. 

“Don’t act like you care, I have seen you.” He muttered at him and Schlatt raised his hands to prove that he was letting the boy fix himself up. He backed off and for that, Tubbo was thankful. 

Looking at the water in the bowl, he could see that it had been slightly stained from the crimson which had come from the wound his horns were making. They broke his skin and he often had to wipe them off because of the blood which came along with them. It was like an open wound he constantly had to take care of and his nights after these attacks were usually spent boiling some water together with salt to pour over the wound to make sure it did not get infected. 

He closed his eyes and tried to ignore it, trying to ignore Schlatt. The man who seemingly shared the same thing as himself. Why did they have it incommon? Why was it him and where had he even popped up from? Either way, Tubbo did not care and he just wanted to go back home, he just wanted to go and find his friends again. 

“Mint tea can help.” Schlatt said as the boy walked over to the door, not even bothering to look at him. He was not going to accept help from the guy who had exiled his best friend and the little family he had. He was not going to show empathy for the man who was turning the nation he had fought for into some sort of hell. He was better than that and he was not going to fall into the manipulation game Schlatt was playing. Horns or not, they had nothing in common. 

Tubbo opened the door and closed it behind him while walking out, noticing that he was actually not too far from L’manburg and that walking home would only take twenty five minutes. He sighed to himself and wrapped his arms around his body while trying to ignore the headache which was forcing him to walk slowly and not make any sudden movements. 

Schlatt was disappearing behind him, something Tubbo felt grateful for. Why did he care? Why had not Alex come for him instead of that asshole? 

This was not the time for thinking and the boy headed straight home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omegle is a very strange place....


	5. Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo gets a visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to the new chapter!
> 
> I hope you all are doing well and that life is okay. Sorry for taking so long between these chapters, but I have just gotten back to school for the rest of this week!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

There was a keychain hanging on his door, one he had not seen before. 

It was a small little bee colored in yellow and black hanging off of the small chain. It wasn’t a large one and it was actually pretty cute, and the fact that it was a bee just made the whole thing better. Almost everyone knew he had a love for bees, he really wanted to start a little farm where he could get honey and just look at the creatures for a while. Where his obsession had gotten from he did not know, all he knew was that the bee he had been found with was most likely the reason. 

He reached his hand out and lifted the bee off of his door handle, inspecting it closer. It looked quite new and had no damage to it, although the color looked slightly faded but that might just be the design. It was very pretty and he would not turn a bee present down, but who had given it to him?

He was not sure if it could be Tommy, it felt like a Tommy thing to do to show that he was still around and still cared about him. But then again if he was spotted in this area he would most likely get attacked and that was a risk a small bee chain was not worth. Plus where would he get it from? There was not exactly paint like this in the forest, and there was no way Tommy would be able to make something so small. It was made out of clay, however. 

Maybe Niki had made it and felt bad for him, trying to give him something to cheer up because of the situation he was in. It was a tough one indeed, and the bee did help him feel slightly better, but Niki was barely even around. She was under the radar a lot of the time so it felt unlikely she would do something like this as well. But who knows, a gift was a gift and if the person had not left a note there was not a way to thank them unless they stepped forward. 

Tubbo sighed and put the bee in his pocket before dragging a hand through his hair. He had been by the lake for almost two days wondering where his best friend was while trying to hide from the public eyes because of his horns. They had finally stopped hurting and he was incredibly thankful for that. It was such a bitch to deal with them at times. Who knows, maybe he could chop them off. 

With his hand in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, getting ready to unlock his door while making sure the little bee stayed safely inside his pocket. When he was about to put the keys in the door, however, he noticed that there was something wrong. The little metal indication of the door being locked wasn’t present which was something odd since he always made sure to lock his door. He couldn’t have forgotten, could he? 

Carefully he placed his hand on top of the doorknob and slowly pulled down, trying to be as cautious as he could while opening his door. He was hiding slightly behind the wooden door in case something would jump out and attack him, it might not be the best protection but it was something. 

He glanced inside his house and noticed that everything was just the same as he had left it. The boxes were still on his desk further in and everything was standing neatly in its place. Or well, as neatly as he had left it. He probably needed to take ten minutes or so to try and clean things up a little. It was not messy, but a bit of order was needed in the wooden house. He let out a sigh and stepped inside. 

He closed the door behind him and put the keys in a little bowl that rested on top of a desk in the hall. There was something strange in the air, something which he could not really place or put his finger on. It was most likely paranoia about leaving the door opened but it still bothered him and he was not sure how or why. It was strange and he wished it would go away soon, he took off his shoes. 

He never knew that walking inside his own house would feel strange, he never knew that the air would feel tight in the one space he thought was safe. His eyes were scanning the area and checking to make sure that everything was as it should as he made his way through the hall and into the living room.

“Tubbo.”

The boy jerked his head to the side, turning around towards where the voice had come from. Instead of finding someone with a knife pulled and angry eyes, he was met with blue soft ones which were comforting and kind. He knew those eyes, maybe better than anyone else around here. Those eyes were not there to hurt him, they were not there to stalk him or creep him out. 

He almost threw himself at his best friend, burying his face into the crook of his neck once he got close enough and wrapped his arms around the boy's frail body. He felt thinner than he had been once he had left, had he not been eating enough? Or maybe it was the harsh world of getting thrown into the wild without any preparations or with anything at hand.

Letting go felt like it would be dangerous, as if the moment he would let go he would wake up from a dream and that his friend would once again disappear from him. He had missed him, he had missed him so much and he was finally here. It was like all of his prayers had been answered and his best friend was once again back at his side. 

“Tommy... “ He whispered quietly and the other chuckled, ruffling the chocolate curls before tearing the two apart. Tubbo looked at him, a thousand questions about how he had gotten here or why he was here filling his head. Tommy was smiling, that was something good at least. 

“Sorry I sneaked in, if anyone saw me I would have been done for.” 

He was not allowed to be here, Schlatt had thrown him out and he was not exactly welcome in Dream’s land either. Returning to Phil was something they could not do, they could not go back to their father and tell them about what had happened. There would be so much shame involved and they could not disappoint him. Not Phil. 

The punishment for sneaking into a country where you are not welcome was a punishment Tubbo was not aware of. He was not sure what the price would be or what Schlatt would do if he got to know that Tommy was back by L’manburg. One thing he did know was that the man would not throw a ‘welcome back’ party and bring balloons for him. 

“What are you even doing here? If you knew that it was dangerous why did you come here?”

The brunet was quick to run into his kitchen and put on some tea, grabbing a few crackers which he knew that his friend liked, and threw them on a plate. Tommy was right behind him and watched him as he stressed around. He was not sure what to think and he was scared for his friend’s sake. He could get hurt, killed, or maybe imprisoned if he was lucky to escape the other options. 

Tommy seemed to be somewhat calm on the other hand. His hair was slightly messed up and his clothes were dirty and ruffled. He was no longer wearing the suit, instead, he wore normal pants together with a red and white shirt. He must have been able to sneak in somewhere and get it from his wardrobe. If Tubbo looked close enough, he could see small holes and tears forming in the fabric. He swallowed. 

“I had to come and see you, I had to know if it was true.”

Tubbo placed two mugs on the table, pouring up the tea and placing the plate on the other side of the table as Tommy took a seat. They both sat down by the little table, curtains were drawn just in case someone would walk by and spot the blond sitting at his table. His heart was beating slightly faster at the thought of that, fear taking over his brain. Was Tommy out of his mind? 

“What’s true?”

“You are Schlatt’s right-hand man.”

The air turned cold and Tubbo went pale as he looked at Tommy. He felt guilty and bad, but on the other hand, he did not really have a choice but to listen to the big man who was the president (dictator) of the country. If he could change it, he would. But how would Tommy feel about that? How was he supposed to tell him that he was working for the man who had thrown him out of the country he himself had created? 

Not a single word slipped past his lips and Tommy did not look away from him. The tea was steaming and reflected itself in the small stream of light which managed to go through the curtains. He looked tired, dark circles starting to form underneath his eyes after all the time in the woods together with Wilbur. He was not even exactly sure where they were hiding, but they were alive at least. 

“I’m sorry.” Apologies meant nothing, his words meant nothing when he was doing actions which went exactly the opposite of his morals and what was best. He could have slapped Tommy and Wilbur in the face and it would have hurt less than this. He felt terrible about it, but he was one man against a nation. Plus, Schlatt seemed to be interested in him for whatever reason. 

“Why? Why would you do that? Is he hurting you?” 

“No! He is not hurting me, I’m fine. But I can’t really say no, either.” 

Tommy sighed and put the mug to his lips, gently sipping on the hot liquid to make sure he did not accidentally burn himself on it. He did not seem pleased about his answer and Tubbo felt his heart sink inside of his chest as he too lifted to have a taste of the tea. It burned slightly, but he tried to ignore it and swallowed the sweet tea. 

“You can come with me, you know. He can’t really do anything if you run now.”

The suggestion hung in the air heavy above them both, and Tubbo looked up from his cup to once again see the look in his friend’s eyes. How had he changed so much? When had they changed so much? It felt unreal and strange that in such a short amount of time they had already started to grow apart. A month ago Tubbo would not have hesitated, he would have laughed and said yes. 

Now it felt strange and awkward, Tommy looked unsure of himself and Tubbo found himself hesitating. Could he really just drop everything he had here and run off like that? What would happen to L’manburg if Schlatt stood alone on the throne without a sane person by his side. Tommy had done it, but Tommy also had Wilbur. Schlatt would be free to do whatever and Tubbo was the only reason he had yet to kill everyone. 

Another thing that was also holding him back, the fact that Schlatt held answers to who he is. There is something strange going on about him, or well, he has the horns as well and seemed to feel bad when he fainted. It was the first time the small brunet had witnessed some sort of sympathy or empathy in the other. 

Wilbur also knew something about Schlatt, they had acted like friends when he was first introduced and Wilbur had also always gone… weird at the mentions of his past or his childhood. They would be the key to find out who he was and why the horns were growing and why he had been left in a box like that. They held the answers to all of his questions and he craved to know. 

“Tommy… “

“Why are you staying here anyway? What does Schlatt have that I don’t?” He raised his voice and he looked slightly angry, making his friend tense up and lean back in his chair. 

“You are my best friend, but I have to stay here. Someone needs to make sure it doesn’t burn to the ground.” Tommy shook his head, his fingers turning pale at how hard he was gripping onto the mug. Tubbo silently prayed he would not accidentally break it and hurt himself. 

“I think he has the answers to who I am, I don’t know how to explain it but I think he knows something.” He spoke quietly and Tommy leaned forward to hear the small mumbles escaping his lips. It sounded so stupid out loud as if he was talking out of his ass and coming up with excuses as to why he did not want to come with. 

He did want to go, he almost felt like he had to meet up with Wilbur again to ask him about his life and why things were like this. It was selfish and he knew it, it was stupid and rude, especially now when a whole nation was on the line as well as the lives of his friends. He wished he was normal, that he was Phil’s biological son because then none of this would have mattered and he could have escaped this hell.

Tommy might never understand the pain of not knowing who you are or why you are so different from everyone else. People were keeping secrets about him. They seemed to know things he did not, things that could solve his problems and tell him about who he is. He wanted to grow as a person, he wanted to know his story. But he would not find it hiding in the woods. Wilbur was not telling him, so he had to force it out of Schlatt.

Tommy pulled out a map from underneath the table and when Tubbo glanced down he saw a little backpack resting against the leg of the table. The map looked a little dirty and injured, almost like Tommy himself. What was happening out there, what were they doing and how did they get through the days?

He took the map carefully, glancing down on the small paper and looking over the area. He knew where this was, it wasn’t even that far. They seemed to be hiding in one of the caves which were in the woods right outside of the land. Had they been that close all the time? How had they managed to live so close by without him even getting a small hint about it? 

“Why didn’t you come earlier?” He whispered, his friend grabbing his pack and zipping it close again. 

“I tried, but hadn't gotten the opportunity yet.” It was a simple answer, but Tubbo decided to just accept it and move on. He looked mad, angry, and tired. It must be exhausting to live out there without anyone else to help you. Maybe if he could, he could go out sometimes and try and bring them food or clothes. The cave must be cold at night. 

Half the tea was still in the cup, but Tommy seemed to be finished with it. He stood up and flung the backpack over his shoulder and looked away from Tubbo. The blond’s eyes were hidden from his view and so he could not read his thoughts or see what he was feeling. There was something bad filling inside of him, a bad feeling. 

A bunch of rocks was moving around in his stomach and it made him feel nauseous. His head was spinning and the fact that his horns had been acting up lately did not help the whole experience. It quite frankly sucked. Tommy wasn’t even looking at him, when had they turned away from each other? He swallowed. 

“Thanks for the bee.” Tubbo mumbled, remembering the little keychain which had been hanging on his door. It must have been hard to get it, and so he valued it deeply. It was a nice gift and something iconic for him; bees. Such a simple thing, such a secretive thing. The one thing he had been holding on to for safety as a child.

This time, Tommy did turn around to look at him, shooting him a confused look. He stood still and the air around them seemed to have gone cold once more. Tubbo did not move a muscle, something was wrong. What was wrong?

“I never gave you a bee?” 

Tommy walked out of the door and left Tubbo to stand alone in his living room, staring at the door which he had left through. His head was spinning and he felt more lost and confused than before. If it was not Tommy who had given him the bee, then who? There was no one around to randomly give him a gift, it was mostly Ranboo or Tommy who gave him gifts and Ranboo had not even been around for a week. 

There was something going on and he was not entirely sure what it was, but it felt like this might be the time where he gets answers. It was now or never, right? Someone must be around, the bee couldn’t just randomly pop up- the person leaving it hadn’t even left a letter or a word. Someone didn’t want him to know, but who would be stupid enough to do that?

Tubbo went into the kitchen and pulled the curtains, opening up to let the sun stream into his home once more. He couldn’t even see Tommy walking away, he couldn’t see anyone. It was just him alone in a house covered with papers, books and folders trying to find any hint of where to look next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for once in my life, i actually made a somewhat plan for this story.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are highly appreciated and I love to read your thoughts! They truly help with the progress of writing and is usually the reason why I manage to write as much as I do. 
> 
> I hope you all have a great day/night! Love you all.


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